Into the deep

Swimming in a duvet ocean tonight
Sandbar pillows and turning tidal wave sheets
With the little strength you muster, your knees hug close to your chest
And your fingers grapple the ends of your toes.
Crooked, cross eyed toes.

You rock your body back and forth
A sinking ship, much like the Titanic’s twin, you lay
Back and forth
Back and forth
And forth again

You inch yourself backward towards his body that isn’t there
His body that lies in Davey Jones’ fucking locker somewhere at the bottom
Of your bed
You wish he were surfaced and floating
His arms tucked around you like a life preserver
Keeping you from falling deeper

Though you do not wish to touch the muddy bottom,
You would rather lie in your duvet ocean than reach the shore
Than see land, and feel sand and know there is no grater comfort
Because perhaps if you stay in the sea, he’ll come back to you

But, to wait,
To wait in this bed and feel so alone and so empty,
To feel this pathetic?
God, look at you.
You used to be so well within your own company
But, now you can barely hold a smile in an empty room.
Saddest sight in the world lately is your own reflection
And of course you’d sleep in a pool of water
So you can admire it all the while.
The only thing that could make you sink is an anchor heart.
You have one.