Begging for cash (please help!)

Hey all.
If you scroll down as far as you can on the side bar,
you will notice a google ad placement.
This is because I have adsense.
If you don't know about it, check it out.
Basically, you let google place ads on your blog//site
and the more clicks on it you receive
the more money you make.
I don't have a job people.
Money isn't tight but it isn't right either.
I currently won a place in the DECA Ontario Business provincials.
The trip is 205 bucks +spending money.
And around here, that's a big deal.
So what i'm trying to say is

WHEN YOU ARE READING MY BLOG
REMEMBER TO CLICK ON THE ADS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY//REGISTER//SPEND//CONSUME ANY OF IT
JUST CLICK IT SO LIV CAN MAKE SOME CASH!

thanks :) I reaaaaaaaally appreciate it

ttfn!

Flying high

I've seen the world from a different angle
One where all the wires tangle
The ones that send the vital verses
And remove the hateful curses
So these things get intertwined
Never mind
They say they have figured out
Found a seed to sprout
Feed the masses
All the classes
Keep us equal
Keep us quiet
Keep down the riots
And the pirates
They better stay on the ships
The astronauts better get a grip
Find a phrase that fits
Cause soon we will be

Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing so high
We can graze the sky
Floating in our ignorance
Let the people hear our rhymes
Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing, buh bye

I woke up from a hateful dream
Looked around and all I see
Buildings burning
Homes on fire
The dream came true
The good grew tired
And now the hurt has settled
Meddled
It's way in
And it won't get out
Hate crimes
Discrimination
Lost all patience
Lost that statement
Something bout every man is equal
And equal rights for all god's people
Cause now we are

Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing so high
We can graze the sky
Floating in our ignorance
Let the people hear our rhymes
Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing, buh bye

So watch me go to a better state of mind
A magic idea I had to let love unwind
It's a simple kind
An easy find,
Embrace
Embrace
Embrace
And let the love sink in
So we are no longer

Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing so high
We can graze the sky
Floating in our ignorance
Let the people hear our rhymes
Fly-ing, Fly-ing, Fly-ing, buh bye


P.S this is liv's first rap :D

Next to your memory

You belong in the rain next to me
Right in the storm where we were at peace
Right in my arms is where you should hide
The same very place you once hid in with pride.

You belong in the books next to me
Right in the shelves where we were at peace
Right in my hand is where you should rest
The same very place you once rested a mess.

You belong in love with me
Where we met so instantly
Right in the midst of your eyes
I still dream of at night
Right in the center
of what I still know right.

You belong
Where we met.
Next to me.

You belong
Where you sat
Next to me.

I belong
Next to you.
Next to you.
Next to you.

Right there against you in peace.
How I miss your embrace
And loathe my release.

How I die knowing
Where I belong next to you
Is farther than I can manage to reach.

This is called

This is called comatose
It's when you can't feel
It's when you go numb
It's when nothing is real.
This is called fucked-me-up
It's when I bleed to death
It's when I cannot stand
It's when i can't catch breath.
This is called lost-all-hope
It's when I don't try
It's when I barely speak
It's when I swallow my pride
This is called broken-heart
It's when I get cold
It's when my words sound harsh
It's when I fold.
This is called distant-love
It's when my thoughts drown
It's when I don't bother
It's when my brain shuts down.
This is called don't act
like you know
everything.
This is called stop telling me
how to
live.
This is called you don't know
what it means
to me.
This is called fuck off
because i won't give
in.
This me trying
This is me giving my all
This is me doing what I can to solve
This is called don't you lash out
And don't you let go
And don't say you love me
Because you are quite cold.
This is called
Don't try and fix me
I don't need your honesty
Don't need your help
I can fuck up myself
This is called
I need and want you
But not as you are.
This is called
Don't be a hero and
Don't be a star.
This is called
done.

Stormy weather

This was gonna be my last chance
Fresh start
Gonna have a heart to heart
Restart.
Start again.
Replace a foe and find a friend.
Open up the closet door
See what it's hiding
What's in store.
Skeletons and child traumas
Broken hearts and teenage drama.
All the words that make mouths dry
Collect inside
It is there, they hide
With pride
A shadow cast on them.
What I wouldn't give
To join their games.
Here, silly me
Thought she could flee.
Begging jury
"Here my plea!"
It's wasted breath.
That's all I am,
Water and hormones mixed by hand.
By "god" they call him
I dare not believe
For he has taking life from me
From me my life was taken
Forsaken words like
"Love" and "Lust"
Words I know better than to trust.
Hope is lost,
Or on vacation.
Either way
It's switched locations.
It sends me postcards in the form
Of hallmark greetings like
"soon will pass the storm."
Well, comforting, the thought may be
It's a liar
And the storm won't cease.

Hope

The weakness in my voice?
That ain't acting.
The indecision in my choice?
That ain't faked.
I have become much less than superman
Can't do it all, but I never could.
And apparently all the effort I'm putting forth,
Is not but 1000 miles from where it should.
Guess I am pointless, useless and lost.
Divine is my love for you, rich is the cost.
Suppose I dropped everything, ran to your arms
Would they be open with no cause for alarm?
So who I am fooling? It's on my leg I pull
I can't do anything right,
Can't love no one in sight
Can't give you my heart,
From the get go, the start.
Giving up looks like the most simple of tasks
Put memoirs and photographs all in the past.
Look to the future,
In hopes If I die,
That things will getter better.
That relief I will sigh.
But I can't
In case you come back for me.
But I can't
In case you decide that you care after all.
Here I stand
It ain't easy, but that's no excuse.
I'm holding in so much pain
But that's no excuse.
Let me loose.
Let me go.
Hold me close.
I have given up hope.

Live on Facebook

Howdy everyone.

As I'm sure you are aware, I am trying hard for this blog to be recognized
on the net. As this is a hard thing to do considering I'm competing with porn,
forums and networking sites I decided, when you can't beat em, join em.

In the side bar, you will notice a new addition. The facebook fan page.
If you have facebook, i suggest you click "become a fan" because word of mouth
is good, but seen on facebook is way better.

Tell your friends, tell your family.
Become a fan! You won't regret it.

never gonna be

you ain't never gonna be

different
special
beautiful
respected
cared for
looked after
important
priority
incredible
amazing
wanted

and fuck,

you ain't never sure as hell gonna be

loved.


so stop crying, face it, and die knowing it.
because little lady and young man alike

love ain't nothing but poetry.

Hal

She didn't like music. She didn't hate it per say but she sure didn't like it.
I asked her why. She told me "Why would i listen to pianos when i could easily submerse myself in the music life plays everyday?" to which i always replied "You know, I hear that in one church hymn, there's a secret chord that connects you with god." She called me naive a lot. I never blamed her.

There was one night, one warm August night we spent together on the patio roof of my apartment. It was muggy out but she said she was tired of sitting inside and watching movies together to which i had to agree. We were talking about life and the way our hands look and the noise it makes when you chew on wet mittens and kites and traffic congestion when it started to rain. I ran to the door way telling her to hurry and get inside, i would make us coffee and we can dry off. She didn't move "I wanna dance! Come dance with me!" I said no, was she crazy? It's pouring outside. "Dance with me, Dance with me." I didn't. I wasn't brave like her. Never will be. We stopped talking. Instead she pirouetted around my roof in the rain and I watched her.Lord, was she beautiful in the moon light. I was suicidal, but i never told her that.

When she died, something moved in me. A spirit, a holy dove, a symbol of peace and a symbol of leaving. I didn't like it, it made me sea sick. Or air sick or car sick or any sick. I didn't like it all.
It made me lose a lot of faith in myself, in god. In the idea that things get better. I didn't have a will to live but i figured i had become so numb that it didn't matter if i stayed or left. So i stayed.

Those last days before she died, she was bitter. The smile that intimidated me, the eyes that could always calm me down, those lips that kissed things better? They were bitter like her. She was delusional and angry and sick and lost. She told me the sickness was my fault, that i didn't pray right, or enough. She fell asleep and i would hold her hand. And i would cry. I miss her so much.

She didn't want a funeral. At first i was angry that i wouldn't get to tell everyone how amazing she was but now i see why. Hal never remembered many things, nothing significant. And she knew to me, to a lot of people, she was. She didn't want a remembrance,she didn't want people to be obligated to mourn, she wanted a cherish. And I do. Everyday.

I did everything I could for her but, it wasn't much. For a while i wasn't capable of feeling so i tried to reach out and feel what others could. Lust, love, anger, sadness and pain at the very least. I went to church and stood before god and told him that i hated him, for taking Hal away from me. Even though i lost faith, i knew she needed it, so i kept it strong for her.

Because it doesn't matter which word of man you've heard, the holy or the broken. You can't lose faith.



*if you know what this is based on, props.

Afford

I can't afford to lose my head
It's all that keeps my awful thoughts in bed.
I can't afford to lose my mind
It's all that's left to keep my death threats kind.
I can't afford to lose my tongue
It's all that keeps my speech on a flooding run.
I can't afford to lose my breath
It's all that my lungs still can catch.
I can't afford to walk away
It's all I can do to stay.
I can't afford to drown my soul
It's all that keeps me on my goals.
I can't afford to break my heart
It was already beat up from the start.
I can't afford to hold your hand
It's the only part of you I still stand.
I can't afford to lose you
You are all I have
All that's left
All that's still tangible
And losing you
Feels more like theft
And losing you might kill me still
And Thinking of it makes me ill
Knowing that she has you
You don't need me
But you keep me
Someone kill me.

The greatest stories ever told

If beauty was in short supply
The world would ask you to please comply
To their wish that you could share
For my love your face is fair.
And your arms that hold me tight
Your lips that kiss me and make things right
They both are things i cherish dear
Losing them,knowing they are lost is my biggest fear.
With every smile that you shoot my way
I know tomorrow's a brighter day
Like the sun's shine warms our weary souls
Your warmth keeps away the cold.
To be without you seems a sin
Seems a war I'd never win
Seems a night without a moon
Seems a new year that comes too soon.
To be without you scares me stiff
So please hold on, here comes the wind
To blow against my ship's white sail
And take us away to where we'll regale
Each other with com-ic-al tales
Of true romance, like what we share
An honest love to no other can compare.
So sweet pea, tell me, what's the plan?
It starts and ends with me holding your hand.
Along the way we'll have our bumps
Like petty fights and when you get the mumps.
I'll bring you soup, we'll work it out.
No reason for us to shout.
My last request, sweet valentine
Promise me
You're only mine.