A forgotten smile

It's midweek and I'm passing through a familiar hallway
but instead of busy, instead of crowded and noisy, it's empty
and quiet.

I'm not sure why but it even smells different when it's lonely
and vacant. I like that smell better, I'm sure everyone does.

It's even more yellow than usual. The dull fluorescent lighting
makes my skin crawl. There are papers and notes loosely floating
down the tiles. When you walk, even the softest steps, they seem louder.
They seem important and meaningful.

I walk fast from the bathroom back to the science class. I am wearing a black
winter coat and a red hat. I have glasses on and bag slung over my shoulder.
My hair is softly curled. I feel rushed for no reason. My body feels cold even though
I am roasting under my layers of clothes.

I am walking up the stairs and I see you with someone walking in my direction from down
the hallway. It's a long hallway. I am crossing the floor and our paths cross.

You smile at me. It will become the most important smile of my life.

You catch me off guard and I smile back. I wanna say "hi" but my tongue
fumbles the words and swallows them back into the abyss of my sad and lonely mind.

I become ecstatic and wonder a million things about you. We have never spoken before.

I dreamed about that first smile last night.
It was a memory I forgot I had.
It made me feel so safe to remember it.

God damn it, I really miss you.